Positive parenting skills - CloveTWO

Positive parenting skills - CloveTWO

STRIKING A BALANCE

Where do parents’ rights end and children’s rights begin?

WE LIVE in a world filled with different ways of expressing life. Every parent has his or her own way of raising children.

There are parents who believe that children should be told what to do and set right by strict disciplinary rules.

Other parents prefer to raise their children by offering them guidance in making their own choices.

The United Nations Declaration of the Rights of the Child states that “children have the right to special protection, and facilities to enable them to develop in a healthy and normal manner, in freedom and dignity” and “love and understanding and an atmosphere of affection and security, in the care and under the responsibility of their parents whenever possible.”

One parent I talked to was of the opinion that children will become spoilt brats if the cane is not used to discipline them.

Another parent said she chose to raise her children without the cane because she did not want them to fear her, the way she feared her own father.

She wanted a different kind of relationship with her children, one that stems from respect and not fear.

Parents are caretakers of their children’s rights. Joan E. Durrant, a child-clinical psychologist who authored a parents’ manual on positive discipline (Save the Children, Sweden, 2007), stated that parents need help with parenting.

She wrote that many parents still rely on instincts or their childhood experiences. They have not given much thought to their reactions to their young children. Sometimes parents may have childhood experiences that are negative and violent.Parents who have little knowledge of what discipline is all about, end up thinking that scolding and hitting are the only ways to manage their children.

No parent does all the right things and none of the wrong things. We all want to do what is best for our children and ourselves.

To do the job right, parents need information on child development and know-how to set the right goals for their children.Parents have the right to make choices for their children. It is up to them to ensure their children have a reasonable opportunity to develop in a healthy and normal manner.

These include the right to adequate nutrition, housing, recreation and medical services, as well as love, security, education and protection against abuse and discrimination.

Parents can explain things to children and provide them with the resources and knowledge to make informed decisions. They should then respect their children’s choices. As they guide their children based on their own values and beliefs, they should also respect their children’s choices in developing their own values and beliefs.

Do parents have the right to decide the values and traditions by which their children are to be raised, or do children have a right to choose these for themselves? I believe parents who have positive self-awareness and are confident that they are doing right by their children, can strike a balance between the rights of children and those of parents.

Parents are not only teachers; they are also learners. As we embark on this parenting journey, we will learn many lessons about ourselves and our children.

“Grunt, Grrrr, Dunno, Fine, Duh!, Get off my Back!” Engaging Kids in Meaningful Conversation

Talking to kids, sometimes as young as 9 years old, can feel like talking to a brick wall. It can be really frustrating for parents. At one time you knew everything that was going on in their little worlds and now their lives outside your home feels like a complete mystery! You miss the kid that your kid used to be. Here are some ideas on how to get them back:
When you are at a loss for what to say or what you are saying isn’t working:
Instead of…
“How was your day?”
Try…..
“What was the best part about your day?”
Instead of…
“What’s wrong?”
Try…..
“You look upset. I am here if you want to talk.”
Instead of…
“I wish you would ask for help.”
Try….
“If there is anything I can do to help you with your problem, homework, issue, etc…just let me know. I’ll drop everything to help
To build self esteem:
Try….
“I really liked the way…”
To show interest in their lives
Try….
What was the best part of your day?
To encourage strategic and realistic thinking
Try….
“What’s your plan?”
“What worked last time?”
To Encourage reflective thinking:
Try…
“If you could do it again, how would you do it differently?”
Print this out and keep it with you….as your parent cheat sheet!

Pendidikan Seksualiti Di Kalangan Kanak-kanak

Pendidikan Seksualiti ini penting bagi membolehkan kanak-kanak lebih memahami dan menghormati orang lain apabila memasuki dunia remaja kelak. Pendidikan Seksualiti sememangnya wujud tetapi masih berlapis atau tersorok seperti mata pelajaran sains dan biologi. Selain itu, pendidikan ini turut membincangkan keselamatan diri seseorang kanak-kanak. Andainya kemusykilan kanak-kanak tidak terjawab oleh ibu bapanya maka dia akan mencarinya melalui saluran yang salah.

Kriteria penting pendidikan Seksualiti kanak-kanak adalah pertama mereka sepatutnya mengetahui tentang jantina seawal umur mereka menjangkau 4 tahun. Kanak-kanak perlu diberitahu dengan jelas jantina mereka menerusi pakaian, permainan, rakan bermain dan sebagainya.

Kriteria kedua adalah ibu bapa perlu melengkapkan diri dengan maklumat supaya dapat menjawab segala persoalan dengan baik dan memuaskan hati anak. Jangan menipu dan menyorokkan kebenaran. Ibu bapa bertanggungjawab memastikan anak mengenali alat jantinanya, mengapa ia perlu ditutup dan kenapa orang lain ditegah untuk menyentuh atau melihatnya tanpa kebenaran.

Ibu bapa boleh menggunakan pelbagai cara untuk memperkenalkan isu ini kepada anak. Antaranya menggunakan anak patung dan lakonkan adegan seperti patung lelaki cuba menarik skirt patung perempuan. Tegaskan perkataan JANGAN apabila orang lain ingin menceroboh hak perbadi mereka. Walaupun cara ini nampak remeh tetapi ia mudah difahami kerana membabitkan permainan yang digemari oleh kanak-kanak serta mudah diterangkan kerana patung mempunyai fizikal seperti manusia.

Justeru, dalam zaman serba maju dan moden, pendidikan seksualiti ini penting kerana membabitkan kesejahteraan hidup masyarakat. Namun, ibu bapa patut berhati-hati semasa memperkenalkan pendidikan seksualiti kepada kanak-kanak. Pastikan mereka bersedia sebelum mereka menjejakkan kaki ke sekolah rendah.

SELAMAT MENCUBA!

Teacher's Day Celebration

Teacher's day is celebrated worldwide on the 16th of May every year and it's done in recognition of incomparable contribution of teachers towards the members of society especially our young ones.

Krista Tmn Rasah celebrated Teacher's Day cum Mother's Day on 2nd of June 2010. We take this opportunity to thank all the parents for your contribution to make the celebration more merrier.

COOL KIDS JOBS

Wouldn't it be convenient if our kids really wanted to pick up their toys, books and dirty clothes?

SORRY.

They only want to help with the "cool" jobs such as cutting vegetables, washing the porch, sweeping the floor, folding clothes..... Here are some appealing jobs that little kids can handle with you and later on their own.

Sorting laundry. "Whose shirt is this? Right It goes in Daddy's pile. Whose socks?" It's slow going, but what a great "EDUCATIONAL" activity involving memory, classification and matching.

Recycling. Preschoolers can carry cans and empty plastic bottles to the recycling box. Be sure to talk to them about why we do it. They'll feel even more important knowing they're helping the environment, too.

Spray cleaning. Fill your sprayer with something safe like a water mixture soap (kids do get carried away spraying), give her a clean cloth and point her/him towards the appliances, the sliding glass doors or the TV screen.

Washing dishes. Consider this as "water play" and use it to keep him/her busy while you prepare for dinner. Stand him/her on a chair, fill the sink with water, some plastic cups and plates and few drops of dish washer.

Preparing food. Your preschoolers can rip up salad, peel onions and garlics, "batu tumbuk" activities etc. If you have time to supervise, them will love to use a real knife to cut up vegetables or slice the ends off bread. Frying simple stuff such as egg will be a good exposure to them. It might be messier but try to make them feel good not inadequate.

Loading the washing machine. Definitely requires adult supervision. Basically, preschoolers will love to do it as it's also an early training on their contribution on the household chore.

Washing the car. Preschoolers heaven. But don't let them to help unless you're willing to get wet!

Learning to help is a very important part of the child's development. It is a gift you can give your child. But there must be some cautions and guidelines to keep the experience positive.

The right techniques of positive communication

Communication is a necessary daily affair for preschool children. The most desirable parents would be the communicating parents. Communicating parents are usually aware of their children's problem, ambitions, likes and dislikes, friends and spend most of time discussing the pro and cons of everything in a very open manner. To avoid children to develop negative personality below are some tips to share;

Listen attentively and quietly to what your children have to say, then help them sort out and rationalize their feelings and together come up with ways to handle the problems.

SO BE AN EFFECTIVE LISTENER.

It is very important for parents to recognise peer pressure, poor academic performance, poor social interaction with other children and other relevant problems. Be involved with your children at home, in the neighbourhood and at school.

SO BE INVOLVED.

Children need to be taught what good values are. Teach them how to behave and what values they should embrace. You should set the standards and make them clear what behaviour and character traits you think are important. Magic words like THANK YOU, PLEASE, SORRY, EXCUSE ME should be practiced and used consistently.

SO IMPART GOOD VALUES.

Children need your constant encouragement and recognize praise for their accomplishments. However, do not over do it and ruin their trust.

SO MAKE PRAISE APPROPRIATE.

In conclusion, take a good look at your children and decide if you can leave them to make good and sound decisions for themselves. Always be in control where crucial issues are involved and where you have doubts on the decisions they make. However, draw them to the values and chracter traits that you so desire through positive communication with them as you spend time with them.

"The best inheritance a parent can give his/her child is a few minutes of his/her time each day".

Quality Family Time

[updated: 1st April 2010] Quality family time should be expected to be one that is relaxed and free of conflict. It is an opportunity to have meaningful conversation and do worthwhile things with our loved ones. Activities need not be specific or planned and quality family time can be spontaneous and varied length. It is through having quality family time that you are able to inculcate the right values and attitudes in your child, impart knowledge and provide proper guidance while cultivating a strong and affectionate bond that will last a lifetime.

Spending time such as hobbies, sharing experiences, walking in the park, visiting places, playing games and reading together are some of the numerous meaningful and enjoyable activities and provide your child with experiences in seeing, hearing, touching and feeling things that are new, different, beautiful and unique. Stimulate your child's curiosity and interest by asking alot of why and how questions. All these will help to build an environment where your child is free to discuss any topic of concern, learns to verbalise thoughts and feelings and is encouraged to express his or her own creativity. Above activities encourages your child's interest and builds an open and honest relationship and an environment of trust and acceptance.

Spending quality time as a family is very important. The FAMILY is the most precious institution in our lives. The family unit represents the basic building block for any civilization and is a vital of a child's life especially the first 5 years being the most important. Be there for your child and show your love, support, care and appreciation as you will be laying the cornerstone for meaningful lives of tomorrow. You only have one opportunity in this life to do so and it is going to be the greatest gift you can ever give to your child. Choose to balance your commitments with careful consideration on the effect on your family life.

Take time to enjoy your family and cheerish those moments for a lifetime.

Early Literacy Important For Children And Nation

KUALA LUMPUR, March 22 (Bernama) -- Early literacy is one of the most important elements in shaping the life and future of children, the Prime Minister's wife, Datin Seri Rosmah Mansor, said Monday.

She said this was important because early literacy was an imperative human capital investment that was fundamental for the nation's progress and prosperity.

"In the context of Malaysia, since independence, the government had embarked on various programmes to improve the literacy rate of our young nation as part of the nation-building strategies.

"Systematic education programmes have been put in place in order to create an information-rich society and to achieve the national literacy goal of 100 per cent literacy rate by 2020," she said in her keynote address at the official launch of the 4th International Children's Book Conference 2010, here.

Also present was Director-General of Education Tan Sri Alimuddin Mohd Dom, who is also the chairman of the National Book Council of Malaysia.

According to Unesco statistics, in 2008 more than 93 per cent of Malaysians were able to read and write, with only 1.5 million people considered as illiterate.

"This achievement could be attributed to the government's efforts in ensuring that the number of illiterate in the country's population is reduced substantially," she said.

Rosmah said literacy had been continually changing with the advent of the new modes of communication and information dissemination. New technologies presented new forms of medium such as audio books, websites, blogs, podcasts, audio streams and photo streams, she added.

"With these technologies, literacy instructions are changing rapidly and, today, children need to prepare for much more than just the traditional literacy.

"With the recent development of network information and communication technology, I feel there is a need for Malaysians, and especially children, to keep themselves abreast with these changing technologies," she said.

The two-day conference, with the theme "Children's Literacy in the Changing World", is held in conjunction with the 29th Book Fair 2010 from March 19 to 28 at the Putra World Trade Centre.

03 Mac 2010 - Art & Craft